January 5, 2004


It finally has arrived, it seems. A New Year.

At least, that’s what everyone is telling me. Doesn’t feel any different, really. Never has. I honestly don’t know what all the commotion is about.

“Yay! We’ve got a new set of numbers!”

I suppose that’s cause for some serious partying. But I also sort of understand. It signifies personal change, or at least, the thought of putting forth the effort of personal change.

I think it wafted in through the air ducts while I slept one night. As I awoke, I smelled the New Year, and promptly curled back up into the sheets. I told it not to wake me up again; it was rude.

My New Years Eve ‘celebration’ was good and sad at the same time. Was interesting to have those two intertwined. It was a melancholy dream that was sifted through my eyes. Stunning and peculiar, indeed. I saw my good friends (minus one Matt), as well as one old friend whom I have sorely missed. For a few seconds, it felt like old times, but I was too reserved that night to participate. I was asked by that friend a long time ago if I ever regretted anything. I replied that regret was a wasted emotion.

I wasted my emotion that night. Attempting to convey what I thought really doesn’t fit on paper, digital or not.

But, who cares, right? Two large glasses of Tanqueray and Tonic washed it all down quite nicely. They were mixed perfectly, too.

PS: As an aside, another good friend of mine (who shall remain un-named *koffkoffmatthewkoffkoff*) has been quite depressed of late. This next part is for you: Well, we need to have words. Nothing bad, just that you need to open up to us. I realize it’s difficult for you to share your negative (and sometimes positive) thoughts, but we’re your closest friends. We have the means to help. You haven't been yourself at all recenly, and it's quite disturbing. Drinks are on me.

PPS: Thinking of growing out my hair long again, and once it's long enough, get dreads. Should be a good change.